It's Hard To Be Gentile

By I.M. “R.U. Jewish” Ulysses.

I get confused with being Jewish all the time in Toronto. Now, while I'm not ashamed or embarrassed by it, since I am very pro Israel and have Jewish friends, it did give me pause for thought.
So, for those who have a sense of humour, please enjoy the song that I wrote below. It's a take on the song "It's Hard to be Humble" by Mac Davis.

• It's Hard to be Gentile

•   Oh, Lord, it's hard to be Gentile
•   When you're Jewish in every way
•   I can't wait to look in the mirror
•   'Cause I’m getting more Jewish each day

•   To know me’s t’love… my mother
•   She’s really one a hell of a cook!
•   Oh, Lord, it's hard to be Gentile
•   When it’s Jewish that you really look.

•   I used to eat lots of bacon
•   But that was before I knew
•   What my parents never told me
•   It’s just not Kosher for Jews

•   Well, I’d probably get me some lobster
•   If the Talmud would say that it’s good
•   But now that I’ve been instructed
•   I’m waiting ‘til after Shabbat 

•   Oh, Lord, it's hard to be Gentile
•   When you're Jewish in every way
•   I can't wait to look in the mirror
•   I’m getting more Jewish each day

•   To know me’s t’love… my mother
•   She’s really one a hell of a cook!
•   Oh, Lord, it's hard to be Gentile
•   When it’s Jewish that you really look

•   Well I guess you could say that I’m different
•   A Hebrew without Bar Mitzvah
•   But I can’t say that I really missed it
•   Since I didn’t know what it was 

•   Some say that it makes me a liar
•   But I know in my heart that ain’t true
•   Maybe it’s the Shiksa I married last week
•   In the synagogue that I went to

•   Oh, Lord, it's hard to be Gentile
•   When you're Jewish in every way
•   I can't wait to look in the mirror
•   ‘Cause I’m getting more Jewish each day

•   To know me’s t’love… my mother
•   She’s really one a hell of a cook!
•   Oh, Lord, it's hard to be Gentile
•   When it’s Jewish that you really look.

•   REPEAT – OH LORD, IT’S HARD TO BE GENTILE
•   WHEN IT’S JEWISH THAT YOU REALLY LOOK!

                                      OY Vey!

 

  For my wife, Marion, and my Jewish friends and family

 (with apologies to Mac Davis)